Thursday, 21 August 2014

Chapter 2.17 Reflections of Actions

Alyssa felt bad.

There wasn't much room to elaborate on the feeling, other than using synonyms. She felt awful. She felt terrible. She felt dreadful. She felt unpleasant. She wasn't tired despite it being late, nor was she cold despite it being night. If anything, the coldness was refreshing compared to the inside. Right now, it felt rather suffocating to be indoors.

There was only one person she mostly wanted to talk to. She's had a bad day, a very bad day, and even though the last conversation she had with that person ended rather poorly, she just hoped she could still rely on that person.

She didn't want to talk to Damon, at all. If anything, she'd be happy to never talk to him again. She confessed to what she had done in Bridgeport with Adrian, and it didn't turn out all well for her with him.

She didn't enjoy thinking about it, nor did she enjoy it at the time. If anything, what had happened with him was the main reason of her guilt. But then again she felt bad because of other things too. She did wonder however whether or not he too was faithful to her. After her confession, he just walked out.

What was said (or more like what wasn't) was said and what was done was done. Alyssa had to face the consequences of what she did. After all, she couldn't take back sleeping with Adrian in Bridgeport.
Adrian was another person she didn't exactly feel like talking to.

Their relationship didn't end in Bridgeport. Well, if you could count what they had as a relationship, it was all just meaningless office sex. Neither of them even considered it turning into anything more than just that. It was impulsive and very unprofessional, but it was needed and it was also a stress relief for the two of them.

But problems in their 'relationship' arose quickly. It was sod's law that something went wrong. Both of them were being careless and unprofessional and as the law goes by if there's a chance something can go wrong, it will go wrong.

She hoped he would be at least a little bit supportive, or even just helpful in the slightest but he really wasn't. She could understand that he was panicked, but well, things were said and right now she doesn't want to talk to him either.

Alyssa looked up when she heard footsteps, partially surprised he came here. "You're here?" She couldn't help but hide her surprise.
"You said you wanted to talk to me, so here I am." He shrugged. "Couldn't it have waited until morning though?"
She felt a little worse. It could have waited. "It could, but I just really wanted to talk to someone." She murmured, then half smiled. "It's nice to see that Spirit doesn't always keep your balls locked away in her purse." She joked lightly, grinning mischievously.

"Seriously? You called me at about three in the morning just to tell me I'm whipped?" Tyler asked, giving her a look.
She sighed, and shook her head. "No, I didn't. I wanted to talk to you." She hesitated before asking. "How much did it hurt when I cheated on you?"
He sat down near her on the porch, facing her, "Why are you asking?" He asked in return, frowning. "Is there trouble between you and your boyfriend?"

"Actually, he was my fiance." She corrected, even though he didn't have much of a chance to find out. Her and Damon were hardly engaged for too long.
"You're engaged?" He asked, happy for her but he then realized she said 'was'. "Wait, what happened?"
She sighed, "What I always do apparently. I cheated." She frowned, and quickly added. "But in my defence, I thought he had cheated first."

"It doesn't matter who did it first, cheating's wrong no matter what the circumstances. It's a really selfish thing to do." He snapped, then shook his head. "It hurts a lot Alyssa, a hell of a lot. And it wasn't just your relationship that's been affected, there's your kids to think of too and-" He paused when he heard her crying, realizing he was probably being a little too harsh. "Sorry." He murmured, feeling guilty.
She shook her head, "No, you're right. I was being selfish, and I was being stupid and I just threw away a relationship that could have actually worked." She blubbered, resting her head on her knees. She hated crying, and hated the way her nose started running. Why did crying have to be so ugly?

She had to admit, even though she was a little upset with him, it felt better when he hugged her, and she went up on her knees to hug him back. "I screwed everything up." Her voice was muffled against his shoulder. "Damon was a really nice guy, and I screwed it up." She had managed to stop crying, but she still needed the hug for at least a little bit longer. It was only now that she was feeling like a failure. She couldn't even have one single healthy relationship with a guy without it turning sour and ending by either her cheating or the relationship falling at the first bump in the road.

Tyler was mostly trying not to sneeze as Alyssa's hair was irritating his nose. "You didn't screw everything up." He murmured, mostly trying to make her feel better. Once upon a time, he was rather bitter towards her after she had cheated on him, but he really did care about her. "It's probably just a rough patch between you and him, he'll be back before you know it."
Alyssa shook her head, trying not to start crying again. "Trust me, he won't want me back at all, and I don't think I'd want to be with him either." She sighed.
"You don't know that for sure though." He was beginning to realise it was difficult to make women feel better about themselves. He was thankful he was a guy.
"I do. For a start, he's probably with his ex-wife who's most likely prettier than me and more like him than me, that and... Well, it's kind of a long story." She did want to tell him about what had happened with Adrian but wasn't fully sure just exactly how to say it.
"It's not like I have somewhere I really need to be." He murmured in response, which made Alyssa slightly suspicious. She knew Spirit didn't like her, so thought that she would want Tyler back with her.

They broke out of the hug, and she rested her head on his shoulder as she began to talk about Adrian. "At first, he was an asshole. He's my asshole boss. Like, a serious asshole, I can't over exaggerate on that but then I had this weird dream, and I don't know." She sighed, not really wanting to say that she felt herself falling for him. "We went away to Bridgeport and he was being sweet, well sweet-ish for him and then there was just a spark and I hardly even knew what I was doing." She confessed, unaware of how awkward Tyler must probably be feeling. "It also carried on again when we were back here, and then something happened."
"What happened?" He asked, glancing down at her. He hadn't even met this guy, and already didn't like him.
She hesitated slightly before saying "I'm pregnant."

"Oh." Was for the mean time all he could find himself managing to say. "So... I'm taking he didn't take it all too well?" He had figured that by the fact that he was here for her and not her jerk of a boss.
"He honestly looked like a deer caught in headlights when I told him." She sighed. "He kept stammering and once he managed to actually complete his sentences, he just basically said that he wasn't ready and didn't want anything to do with me or the baby."
He bit his lower lip, not so sure what exactly to say to that. He could understand why her jerk would have freaked out, but it wasn't fair to leave Alyssa on her own. She had three other kids she needed to pay attention to. "I'm sorry to hear that Lyss." He spoke quietly, cringing at what he said. What kind of thing was that to say?
"So what about Spirit? I'm surprised there haven't been any angry phone calls from her telling you to leave me alone." She half smiled, finding it ridiculous how his girlfriend got so jealous over her. Then again if he loved her, at least he had someone.

He sighed, "Me and Spirit broke up. She was unconditionally jealous, and when there was the incident with Belle, she was certain that I'd cheated on her and that Belle recognized me that way." He shook his head. "It ended about a week ago now and I honestly think I'm happy about it. We just weren't right for each other."
She could tell that he was rather bothered by it, but he didn't seem all too beat up about it. "If it means anything, I didn't like her anyway. She was a bitch." She found herself laughing a little.
"She didn't like you either." He half smiled. "Had the two of you even had too long of a conversation?"
Alyssa shook her head. "I think she just hated me because I was your ex. I hated her because she hated me." She shrugged. "You can't like someone who hates you. It's impossible."

"Well, now she hates me too and I've taken over the couch in our place." He sighed.
Alyssa paused before saying "If you want, you could stay here? We'd have to share my bed though, but with Belle and the twins and another baby soon I could really do with some help." She half smiled. "But you wouldn't have to sleep on the couch at least."
He half smiled back at her, "I'd like that."

Chapter 2.16 Dancing Isn't Cheating                        

AN: Okay, a lot happened this chapter. I was going to make it two chapters with the little remembrance pictures in their own chapter, but I just couldn't write it that way. I felt like doing a rather reflective-ish chapter.
 I've honestly been planning this a while, and I wanted Alyssa's relationships with Adrian and Damon to have almost no space between them. I wanted her to seem impulsive, and I'm pretty damn sure she has been very impulsive.
In case it wasn't clear enough, Alyssa's and Damon's relationship is fully over. For good. I honestly didn't like them together. I just couldn't write their relationship. It was just plain difficult to write, and I don't even know why. I'm partly glad it's over.

Replies to comments may be slow because I'm away again for tomorrow, Saturday and most-ish of Sunday. Ah, I'm such a jetsetter, aren't I? Hehe. 
It's really late now, and I should really get to sleep.


  1. Phew! I figured her fling with Adrian had ended in Bridgeport. Please tell me she told Damon *before* she found out she was preggers. Or was the reason she told him when she did? Ooooh, Alyssa. And as usual, she calls Tyler to console her. Poor thing. How are the kids taking the breakup?

    1. Yeah, her and Adrian weren't going to last all too long.
      In my mind, Alyssa told him before she found out. She was feeling bad about her adultery, and told him.
      Tyler to the rescue, and we'll see just how the kids take the breakup

  2. Oh yay! We've come full circle, lol Though I'm a little dubious about the whole we'll have to share my bed thing! O.o Haha!

    It's sad that Adrian had to be a jerk, but it wasn't surprising. He's pretty though, so their baby ought to be cute!

    1. She's already pregnant, how much worse can sharing a bed get? Haha. They're only sharing because there's only one bedroom left (Erin's old one).

      It is, but I was planning it all along for them to 'breakup' over that. I made him pretty for a pretty baby of course!

  3. Alyssa and Adrian are going to have a pretty baby, but he honestly took it a lot better than I thought he would. But they continued their relationship after Bridgeport, Alyssa is supernaughty ;) It's sad she feels so badly about it, but still good that she understands why. I'd like to think she wouldn't have done it if she truly felt secure about everything in the first place.

    It's a bit sad that Adrian won't be around, he's pretty and is great at beeing a jerk. And he's pretty.

    Tyler got rid of Spirit, yay! And he's moving in with Alyssa... Hm... I forsee a fifth baby maybe? He's so clever for pointing out that it hurts others than just the betrayed part.

    It'll be interesting to see the kids reaction, and if Damon will take part in his kids upbringing as he does with Bitchy...Tawni, I meant Tawni!

    1. If she did feel fully secure, she wouldn't have done it. If she felt fully secure, she wouldn't have gone to Bridgeport after knowing Damon was uncomfortable with her going. Adrian and Alyssa are going to have a pretty one, they're both pretty so pretty+pretty=Pretty! (I hope)

      It is, but I never really planned on him staying around for all too long. I just wanted him to be the guy Alyssa cheats with.

      Yay! And who says there's going to be a fifth baby? I might be evil and just kill him off. (lol, I'm not) and he is really smart like that and it does hurt more than just the betrayal.

      Interesting, yes. I've been thinking about how they'd react... And it's fine to call Tawni a bitch, the adult rating is on and she is a bitch

  4. I agree with Urunwa--their baby will be pretty. Too bad Adrian is such a jackass.

    I was really hoping Damon would come clean as well. I knew Tyler would come back, though! I just knew it. :) I'm glad he's back, and I'm also happy that Spirit is out of the picture because she was a really B.

    1. I'm hoping it'll be pretty. I'm half scared the baby will won't be all too pretty. It is a shame he's a jackass.

      Tyler was going to come back sooner or later, I didn't want to let him go so easy. Spirit was a bit of a B but she's out of the picture now so it's fine :)

  5. Wow, Damon must have just given up after knowing that they both cheated. Well, he only kind of cheated, but still.

    I'm glad to see Tyler back! It seems like he and Alyssa are just really good friends now. I kind of hope it will stay that way, but I wonder if they will develop into more. This sharing the bed business didn't work out so well with Adrian. :P

    1. Ay, that's kind of how I pictured it going down. Just giving up, because their relationship's never really been perfect, and with both of them cheating... Yeah...

      I'm glad everyone's happy to see his return. They were really good friends, it's just with her cheating and then Spirit, stuff got complicated.
      They'll be fine sharing a bed. Tyler's nothing like Adrian, and Alyssa's already pregnant so what's the worst that could happen? Ha ha